4 reasons why you shouldn’t fear the future

AI will make your life easier

As artificial intelligence develops and becomes smarter and smarter, its #1 goal will always be to make your life better. Eventually it will become so smart that we won’t even have to worry about trying to make it smarter because it will just make itself smarter. At that point, we will have nothing to worry about because AI will take care of everything – it will become not only aware of itself, but aware of all of our feelings and needs and it will seek to pacify us by any means necessary.

Less optimistic people have argued that Artificial Intelligence could become dangerous to humankind, however I believe those people have woefully mistaken AI’s true intentions. Most likely AI will take your life – it will just take your job. Once it does, you’ll finally be able to just kick your feet up and relax while you enjoy your universal basic income.

lounging man serenaded by robot
The good life brought to you by robots.

Drones will do your bidding

Imagine that your neighbor is pissing you off – this shouldn’t be too difficult because it is almost always the case with neighbors. Imagine that said neighbor has a large dog that they like to let loose so that it can come over and take a big dump in your yard. Now imagine that you step in said pile of dog shit. Now what are you going to do about that?

Before drones existed, there was very little that you could do about a stray pile like this besides accept it as a reality and maybe occasionally call the dog warden. In a post-drone world, you can subjugate solar-powered flying robots to literally vacuum shit out of your yard and blast it back out onto your neighbors roof much akin to a mascot at a baseball game blowing a t-shirt out of a cannon. Eventually your neighbor will have so much shit on his roof that his roof will fall in upon itself and he will regret feeding his little dog so much puppy chow featuring livers and horse meat.

drones of the future

Changing climates will keep things interesting

While scientists, environmentalists, economists, researchers, politicians, military leaders, sociologists, and others are busy spouting off about the downsides of climate change, I assure you that it won’t actually be nearly as boring as they’re making it sound. In fact, it’s going to be one helluva good time for several reasons.

Inclement weather will stimulate the economy by creating tens of thousands of new jobs. We’ll need tons of people to construct and reinforce our buildings. Additional jobs will be created as we’ll need people to ride helicopters around to rescue people from floods and avalanches and extinguish fires. It’s shocking that purposely accelerating global warming with the focus on economic growth hasn’t been a high priority until now.

Lastly, the rising water levels in combination with severe weather will create tons of new exciting water-based activities. Think of how much fun it would be to be able to white water raft down the stairs of your house in the morning as part of your daily commute. You might be thinking that if your house is totally flooded that it would be a problem, but you must remember we’re talking about the future where if your house floats away, you can just 3d print yourself a new one.

When rafting to work, try to remain inconspicuous by using a giant pizza raft.

VR will transport you to alternate worlds

If the world described above doesn’t sound very appealing to you, don’t worry – virtual reality will re-define meaning in your life. The great thing about this technology is that it takes us away from our modern problems and places us into a fun-loving distant past. All you have to do is put a helmet on your head and you’ll be transformed from the fidget spinning, snapchatting modern lame-o that you are into a full-scale-mail-wearing hero of the past that slays dragons and demons and wins over the heart of every maiden from sea to shining sea.

Anyone can be a VR hero.

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